If your BFF is a jerk, don’t hit on him

I’ve recently borrowed the first season DVDs of “That 70’s Show” from a friend. Here’s just one of the reason I love it so much:

Eric: …I’ve been friends with Hyde for years. I never put the moves on him!

Buddy: Yeah, well I don’t blame you. That guy’s a jerk.

Eric: Ye — well, yeah. But that’s not the reason! It’s because I’m not gay!

Buddy: Right. Well, I’m sorry for kissing you.

Eric: It’s okay. I mean it’s…let’s just forget about it.

Buddy (leaning over toward radio dials): Do you want to listen to the radio?

Eric: Hey! I told you I wasn’t gay!

Male order for the universe

I have recently read a book in which the heroine “orders” her ideal man from the universe. Half an hour later, lo and behold, she meets him!

I thought I’d follow suit, put in my own order and see if it works for me. I mean, it can’t hurt since I haven’t had any kind of luck for a good long while.

So, universe, here is what I want in a man:

• There has to be a good amount of physical attraction between the two of us or else it’s just not going to work.
• There also has to be chemistry between us–physically and otherwise.
• He is kind, generous, honest, loyal and faithful.
• He has a great sense of humor. I need someone who has the ability to laugh at himself. But he can also be serious when it’s needed.
• He’s not too cocky or arrogant. I can’t stand guys like that.
• He is intelligent and able to hold up his end of the conversation.
• He loves and wants children. And he fully participates in raising them.
• He loves and wants me.
• He is open minded and willing to try new things.
• He enjoys traveling.
• He gets along with my family and friends.
• He is romantic, but not in an over-the-top kind of way. More of a little-things kind of way.

Am I anywhere near the front of the dating line?

I’ve been single for three years now. I have no problem with this for the most part, but there are times when being unattached does have a downside.

In these three years, I’ve seen friends break up with their significant others, get back together or find new significant others. And while I commiserate during the break ups and am happy for them during the reconciliation and puppy love stages, I can’t help wondering, when will it be my turn?

Now, obviously I’m talking about the puppy love part. I’ve been through several break ups (with the same guy) and it’s never a good feeling. No matter how much you want it or how mutual the decision is.

Several people have said to me that I was living in Idaho for awhile and, really, who was I going to meet here? But I was there only one of those three years. What about the two years before that?

Unanswered question(s)

What makes a woman stay?

What makes a woman stay in a relationship she knows–at least on some level–is going nowhere? Or if it is going anywhere, it’s downhill?

We’ve all seen it. In our family, with our girlfriends and acquaintances, even in books and on the big and small screen.

In Cadillac Records, Gabrielle Union plays such a woman:

So, what is it? Why do women–myself included–stay in unhealthy relationships?

Too scared to date?

One of my biggest fears in life is becoming a hypocrite.

When it comes to dating, relationships and all things romantic, I tend to have some very strong opinions about things. After my–admittedly, limited–experiences in the dating game (not to mention my obsession with romance novels), I know how I want a guy to treat me. I also know how I should and shouldn’t treat him (I never claimed to be perfect…that “sugar and spice and all things nice” stuff about girls isn’t always true…and ladies, don’t even think about getting mad at me for letting the secret out because the second you try to get me for it, you’ll have just proved me right). I feel like I know what I want in my other half and what I’d want out of our relationship.

This being said, having been single for more than two and a half years, I sometimes feel like I’ve forgotten what it’s like to date and be in a relationship.

The Second V-Card

Here’s a guest post from my friend Wynn over at (Wynn)Squared. I wrote a guest post for her blog last week and so she returned the favor. I told her to pick any topic she wanted and this is what she chose. Enjoy:

When I talk about v-cards, I don’t mean the typical Valentine’s Day card that you get in middle school. I mean one’s virginity. And even though I’m not posting this over at (Wynn)Squared today, I figured it’s okay to keep up with my tradition of over-sharing on the internetz.

I came to a brilliant conclusion today while I was pretending to be busy at work. I believe that losing your second virginity is probably even more exciting than losing your first. You laugh now but think about it. Think to the first time you had sex. You were possibly, excited, anxious, nervous, scared, lost… sounds like a lot was going through your mind. Were you really able to enjoy yourself? Meh. That emotional stew is not worthy of your cookbook of “top tens.” (Pretend that sentence made sense.)

Too brief a conversation

The first time I saw you was a Saturday evening.

I was sitting in one of the extra cushy chairs just outside the café area in Barnes and Noble when you sat down across from me. I looked up from my usual romance novel and stared. Initially, it was because you reminded me of my next-door neighbor from back home.

But after a few seconds, it was because I thought you were cute.

You were wearing a plain blue t-shirt and gray cargo shorts. You had short brown hair, a five o’clock shadow and a nice smile. And if the glasses you had on weren’t enough—because I’m a sucker for a guy in glasses—you opened the book in your hand and began reading. You were actually reading. And I’m not talking some random magazine from the stand a couple of yards away. You were reading an actual book.

It was enough to make a girl swoon.

Dating: nothing more than a second job?

“If a journalist’s lede is his pick-up line, then his nut graf is when he asks for your number – it’s the point where he seals the deal or not.”

-Nut grafs from Stuff Journalists Like

I never thought of it that way but now that I have, it makes perfect sense. In an article, you’re trying to sell the story. In a pick up, you’re trying to sell yourself (and no, I don’t mean it in the sex-for-money way).

I don’t know why I haven’t thought about it this way before.

Maybe this is how I should approach dating. You know, just think of it like my job. Meeting a guy and getting to know him is nothing more than writing a story.

Fictional love is still love

TomKat. Bennifer. And let’s not forget everybody’s favorite: Brangelina.

I’ve got to admit that while I know probably everything there is to know about the Harry Potter culture, I honestly don’t follow pop culture much and know next to nothing when it comes to celebrity gossip. So, I really don’t care about the aforementioned couples.

Be that as it may, when it comes to certain fictional couples, I admit to having some very strong feelings.

I’ve thought about this a lot. About why I have more invested in the love lives of people who aren’t even real–even more than my own. The conclusion I’ve come up with is that, for the most part, I tend to invest more into these relationships if I find the male half attractive.

Good lord, I just read that. It sounds like how I would approach a real relationship where I’m the female half. I promise I’m not that shallow.

Anyway, the reason I’m bringing this up is because this week the series finale for ER aired. And just as with the end of any show where viewers want to know their favorite characters have a happy ending, I wanted my favorite ER character(s) to have a happy ending.

If you’ve read this post, you’ll know that Shane West is on my “hot celebrity guys” list. So it should come as no surprise that Dr. Ray Barnett,  his ER alter ego, is my favorite character on the show even though he left several seasons ago. It was always my hope to see Dr. Neela Rasgotra, his roomie-turned-love-of-his-life, finally wise up and realize Ray was who she was meant to be with.

It's about time she figured it out!

New discoveries and murky reflections on an old self

As I was doing my daily blog perusal today, I stopped by Awkward is Awesome, a site I visit on a regular basis because I know one of the creators (Erin Hicks) and well, it’s awesome. One post mentioned and linked to a blog called the heartbroke daily. It centers around a guy named Knox Dupree who claims to fall in love too easily and suffers from “near constant heartbreak.” I’ve only had a chance to skim through different posts so far, but it deems promising. So, I’ve added it to my blogroll.

Dupree’s admission about falling in love too easily as well as a recent conversation I had with Wynn made me think about me and my penchant for falling in love. Or lack thereof, as it is. I’ve been single for more than two years and I’ve only come across four guys I’ve actually been interested in. Two of the guys, I did have a chance to talk to, hang out with and get to know but the other two were just based on looks since I did little more than introduce myself (I didn’t even talk to one of them). And seeing as how I’m still single, it goes without saying that nothing ever emerged with these four guys.

After considering all of this, I can’t help but wonder if I’m too picky when it comes to guys. Should I be more open-minded and well, nicer, if by the rare, rare, very rare chance a guy makes his interest known (that’s a whole other thing)?