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Single does not equal cynical: Relationships and their effects on us, Part 1

Relationships aren't just for the romantic. Don't forget about the familial!

Relationships aren't just romantic. Don't forget about the familial!

In the recent months, I’ve had the chance to take a real good look at the concept of relationships. I’m not just talking about the romantic variety, but also platonic and familial–so basically just ships in general (reference to Harry, if you didn’t know). What I’ve really had a good look at is how the different relationships we share with different people affect us. Or at least how all of the different relationships I share with different people affect me.

First though, I should probably say a few things about myself. I’m 22 years old and just graduated from college in June. I’ve been single for almost two years after being in an on-again-off-again relationship for six years (beginning of freshman year in high school to roughly beginning of junior year in college). He was my first boyfriend and since then, I haven’t really done much dating–or any for that matter. So, when you pair the two together, it’s easy to see that when it comes to dating experience, I’ve got a great deal of it in some aspects but am very limited in others.

One thing I will say about being single though, is that it has made my life extremely less stressful. Sometimes being in a relationship can be such a pain in the ass. Some of the things you have to deal with and put up with from being a part of a couple, I could easily go without and have been going without. I find it quite enjoyable too :-). This being said, there are also some things about being a part of a couple that I miss and wish I could have again.

Since I’ve become single I’ve had a lot more free time. With my calendar clearing up quite a bit, my sister and I have been spending a lot more time together (that and the fact that I finally turned 21). Now this would probably be a good time to say that my sister is probably not the most romantic soul. Not to be confused into thinking that she doesn’t believe in romance, mind you. She just doesn’t want to be beat over the head with it. You’ve got to admit, it’s a good point. If you’re constantly being presented with romantic gestures, it tends to take romance out of it all, you know?

Are these the faces of two cynics?

Are these the faces of two cynics?

So! As I was saying, my sister and I spend a good amount of time together nowadays and we talk a lot about things. Because of our increased time together, our thoughts and opinions have rubbed off onto each other. At least, two of my best friends say that my sister has rubbed off a lot onto me and that I’ve become cynical. Now honestly, I don’t believe that I have. According to merriam-webster, the definition of the word is: “contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives” or “based on or reflecting a belief that human conduct is motivated primarily by self-interest.”

In no way, shape or form do I believe that!

I can kind of see why they would think that though. One of my friends (she knows who she is) has been having boyfriend issues over the past six months or so. I spend a lot of time–maybe more than necessary–expressing my opinions about the boyfriend and the situation as a whole. Needless to say, they lean more toward the negative side rather than the positive there and some of my statements were probably more cynical in nature. I’ll admit that there may have been some name calling and there may have been some expressing of my desire to do physical harm on the boyfriend’s person. However, that does not make me a cynic or even a cynical person.

Apparently though, I confirmed this notion with my friends when I told them I was happy that Nastia Liukin won the all-around gold in the Women’s Final rather than Shawn Johnson–the favorite and incoming national and world champion–because I believed Johnson’s journey to Beijing had been too easy compared to Liukin’s injury littered journey. That’s not to say that I believed that Johnson didn’t deserve to be on top with the gold, I’m just saying that the harder it is for you to get to the top, the more you’ll appreciate it once you get there. Again, I’m not saying Johnson didn’t work hard to get where she’s at. It’s quite the opposite because I know personally how much it takes to not only reach that level of gymnastics but to be the best in the country and world. I’m not discounting any of that. But I’ve always been one to root for the underdog, which is what Liukin was going into the competition. The NBC coverage was all about Johnson and barely mentioned Liukin. Even three-time Olympic gymnast Dominique Dawes (and my personal all-time favorite) agrees. Despite the limited coverage, Liukin still shined like the star she is (one of my coworkers at Gap thinks I’ve got a girl crush on her…he may be right, but that’s not the point).

Okay, so this post is getting out of hand and my point has gotten somewhat lost, but we’ll see where I go from here. Let’s get back to me being cynical and the fact that I’m not, despite what my friends may think. Contrary to what most people assume, single is not synonymous with cynical. I’m single because I want to be, not because I’m some sort of man hater who believes all of the male species are rotten, lying jerks and deserve to go to hell, or something to that extent. Sure, part of it is because I’m picky but I think it’s smart to know what you want and not settle. I read romance novels for crying out loud! Seriously, would I honestly be able actually enjoy reading them if I was as cynical as I’m perceived to be? I’d think they were ridiculous and get fed up with them extremely quickly. Wynn’s the one who doesn’t like them so I don’t know where she gets off calling me a cynic. I think I come off as cynical because I’m a very vocal individual and like I said in my last post, I say what’s on my mind uncensored and often just forget to think before I speak.

I’m going to turn this into a multi-part post because this one’s getting ridiculous and I’m going off on random tangents. At the beginning of this post, I was talking about how our different relationships affect us differently. This will be my family edition since my sister is apparently responsible for turning me cynical. I think the next one will be the friends edition…

Friends edition coming up next!

Friends edition coming up next!

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5 comments on “Single does not equal cynical: Relationships and their effects on us, Part 1

  1. Bravo! Very nicely put!
    I’m still not convinced though. You may not be a cynic but I do believe that you are not as romantic as me or Jackie. Now THAT is weird because you do make a good point about how I don’t like romance novels too much.

    URGH there is a word that describes what it is that your sister is but i can’t think of it. I’ll get back to you.

  2. […] Journalism Clips « Single does not equal cynical: Relationships and their effects on us, Part 1 […]

  3. […] love that me writing about it is probably going to be redundant, but I’ve already covered familial and platonic relationships that it only makes sense that I cover romantic relationships as […]

  4. […] surprised that this wasn’t the first thing that popped in my mind. Oh well. But yeah, family is important to me and I’d like to have one of my own some day. I like the idea of coming […]

  5. […] – bookmarked by 1 members originally found by TonyIV05 on 2008-12-02 Single does not equal cynical: Relationships and their effects on … […]

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