For my entire life, I’ve never really been the type of person to be surrounded by hordes of people. I’m really not the popular type. I don’t have that certain quality that would attract the hordes, nor would I even want to attract them anyway. I am much more comfortable with smaller groups. So needless to say, I have very few friends. Though few of them I may have, my friends are all quality people and I’m sure they’ll appreciate me saying so.
In the recent years, I’ve found myself in the type of relationship with these ladies that I don’t think I’d ever been in before. My relationships with them has surpassed mere friendship to the point that they’re all practically my family. Growing up, my friends never reached that point, otherwise I’d still be close with them. Although, I should probably clarify that besides my gymnastics teammates–who were also my friends–I really only had one close friend; the others I surrounded myself with were secondary characters in the story of my life. It’s still kind of true nowadays even though I’ve branched out a bit–I can count the number of my closest friends on one hand rather than one finger.
As I was saying, my friends are really my family and as sappy and sentimental as that sounds, it’s true. And as the usual case with family, there are certain things that just come with the territory. One of those things being feeling things on their behalf. Sure, in the past if things happened to my friends, I’d feel appropriately happy or upset for them. But this is different. Now, I am truly happy or upset when things happen to them because they are my friends and their well-being is extremely important to me. This is probably why I feel so strongly about the situation with my friend with the boyfriend issues that I mentioned in my last post. I don’t say these things for her benefit, although that is a positive outcome (especially if she listens). I say them because I am pissed off.
I’m not sure how we’ve reached this point, but there it is and there you go. There wasn’t one big thing that acted as a turning point and made me think, “These girls aren’t just my friends or even just my BFFS, they’re my family.” It was like in Rachel Gibson’s book “I’m In No For Love.” The heroine finds out her fiance is gay but to her, there were no real big signs pointing in that direction, just a whole bunch of little ones that she chose to ignore. For me, it’s been a whole bunch of little things that I never ignored but was just more unaware of, that has created this shift in my relationship with these ladies and I sincerely hope that they feel the same way because being in a relationship where the love is unbalanced or even one-sided is definitely not fun. Trust me, it just leads to awkwardness.
So, in sticking with theme of relationships and how they affect us, I would say that the relationships I share with my friends have taught me how to feel with my entire self and that even though boys come and go (at least until you find the one who’s got staying power), your girls will always be there for you. It’s like that joke from when we were kids:
What kind of ship never sinks?
You’re darned right.