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Baby Steppin’

Growing up with an Asian mother, it goes without saying that I’ve grown quite accustomed to criticism. Not that I’ve grown immune, I’ve just grown used to it. Initially she’d focus on my weight–in that I had too much of it. She was constantly comparing me with my friends as well as the daughters of her friends. I’m not going to lie. Even though I knew she was doing it out of love (in hopes that I would lose it), there were times when she’d make me cry. There’s just no prettying it up. Eventually though, I’d start talking back (yes I know, not exactly the obedient Asian daughter you’d expect) and my mom eased up on the weight issue. However, that’s not to say that she eased up on the criticizing. Now, she’s moved on to bigger things that aren’t necessarily better. Although the topic that she’s been most vocal about lately is her disapproval of my career choice, I’m not going to really get into that today, since that’s not what I had in mind for this post. One thing that she’ll bring up every now and then (thank goodness not as often as she goes on about my career choice) is the topic of dating and how I’m not.

I’ve mentioned time and time again that I’m single and have been for almost two years. It makes me proud to say that I’m not the type of girl who doesn’t know how to be single and needs to have a guy in her life. It also makes me proud to say that when I am in a relationship, I don’t make the guy the center of my universe. Sure, we’re a couple. But we’re also two individuals with two individual lives. Nothing makes me sadder (not necessarily true when looking at the Big Picture, but pretty true when it comes to relationships) than two people who have made themselves the center of each other’s universe to the point that they start to alienate their family and friends. You become too codependent on one another and well, that can’t be good because I hate to break it to you, but shit happens and people break up. That’s life. It’s not perfect and we just have to deal with it. So, as I was saying, people break up, but if they’ve become too codependent, how will they take to their newly independent status? Don’t lose who you are just because you’ve become half of a couple.

I say this because I’ve been doing more thinking about dating and relationships than usual lately. It’s because every time I log on to Facebook, I swear on the news feed, people are always changing to a newly engaged or wedded status or have posted pictures from weddings, bachelor/bachelorette parties, showers (of both the bridal and baby variety), etc. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of this. Honestly, I’m happy for these people and wish them the best of luck in their lives. The only thing is that they’re all people I went to high school or college with, so they’re all my age–early twenties. I don’t know about you, but I just think that’s way too young to settle down. I mean, at this age, we’re still changing and figuring out who we are and all that good stuff. These types of life changes may work for some people but for me, I’d like to get settled in my career and whatnot before I settle down with a husband and family.

This being said, I still can’t help but feel a little left behind since I haven’t even been on a date in two plus years. It’s never really been a priority for me. This is probably also why I’ve got no game whatsoever. Honestly, I don’t think that’s an exaggeration at all or anything either. Wynn calls it the Eye of the Tiger. She may still have it–even with a boyfriend–but I’m pretty sure my Tiger has always been blind. But all is not lost since it appears that I’m taking baby steps to up my nonexistent game. Just last weekend when I went out with Wynn and her friend Christina (as well as their boyfriends…can you say, fifth wheel?), I saw a guy who I thought was pretty cute. That in itself is probably saying something since I can be pretty picky. So, after a few hours of eye stalking him from across the room, I’m happy to say that I finally worked up the courage to go up and talk to him (it was about 30 seconds, but I’m getting there). Names and a handshake were exchanged. I’ve yet to work up to exchanging phone numbers but remember, baby steps! We’ll see how things go the next time I encounter a guy I consider cute…

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2 comments on “Baby Steppin’

  1. Baby steps always seem to take forever but before you know it, you’re where you wanted to be. Keep your goals in mind and one day, you’ll get there. Remember your job search? Didn’t it feel like effing forever?! Look where you are now. You know I love watching growth in people’s relationships and careers etc. This is al apart of it. It all goes to show how much baby steps can make a difference.

    Let’s go out and celebrate! Another chance for you to say hi to a someone. =)

    Also, I hope you didn’t feel like a fifth wheel that night because you totally weren’t. If anything, I’d say Lowell was the fifth wheel! hahaha I joke!

  2. […] I guess that’s just how it goes. I’m getting used to IF and who knows? Maybe I’ll break out of my shell and make friends soon? We’ll […]

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