A few weeks ago, I had my friend Mi (pronounced ME) over for dinner and a movie. Now, there was nothing really out of the ordinary about this. We were just hanging out, talking and eating. But as we were cooking, I started thinking about how so many of my habits around the kitchen were inherited from my parents — especially my mom. I’d noticed this before, but those habits were especially noticeable that night because Mi had similar habits which she inherited from her parents.
I thought this was really interesting because there is this general, I wouldn’t go so far to call it fear as more of this anxiety, over becoming one’s parents. It’s even reflected in pop culture. Here’s an example from “Friends” where Rachel tries to teach Joey how to sail a boat. The scene begins at the 3:30 mark.
While this scene (as well as the remaining scenes in the video) is funny and entertaining, it brings up a good point. Rachel’s blindsided by her discovery about becoming her father because the habits and behaviors just crept upon her unknowingly.
I wasn’t exactly blindsided, but I was surprised when I discovered how much like my parents I am. Obviously, because they raised me, I do things the way they taught me, either through direct instruction or imitation. But I have to say, I didn’t realize how alike we are.
Now, I don’t necessarily see this as a bad thing. I know we’ve had our disagreements in the past and they can really stress me out sometimes, but for the most part, I’d have to say I have great parents whom I love very much. They’re really good people and have been there for me and my sister whenever we needed them. My sister and I weren’t spoiled but we were cared for and taught how to take care of ourselves when the time came. I think that’s what you really need from parents: To be given the confidence and opportunity to be independent while knowing you do have help and support if needed.
This really is what I get from my parents (mostly, but then again, no relationship is perfect) and if I turn out to be even half the people they are, then I will gladly take it.