Dating is not easy. Relationships can become complicated. And break ups can get messy.
I know this both from firsthand experience as well as secondhand experience through my sister and friends.
Now, it’s no secret that I’ve been single for quite awhile (nearly four years), so I can’t say my point of view on love is up to date. But from what I’ve heard, I don’t think I’m really missing much. This is probably because I don’t have any really close male friends, but in the three-plus years I’ve been unattached I’ve learned there are a lot of guys out there: Nice guys who turn out to be jerks; not-so-nice guys (assholes) who girls still fall for; guys who go back on their word; and guys who are just clueless.
Since the people I’m closest to and discuss relationships with are female, I can only present one side of the story. And I admit what I have to say is extremely one sided and biased. But it’s the only side I am privy to.
So what I want to know is, how much do guys invest in relationships and do they get hurt in the case of a breakup?
Obviously, this is a very broad and generalizing question. I know there are really great guys who are absolutely in love with their significant others and would be devastated if their relationships broke up.
But, where are they?
Seriously. In the last few years, I have heard so many stories about relationships. And in almost every one, she gets hurt and he ends up being the bad guy — both intentionally and unintentionally. Why is that? (I know there are just as many horrible, bitchy women out there who do the hurting, as there are horrible, jerky men, but I tend to not associate myself with those women.)
Why does it seem like we get hurt more than guys do when it comes to romance? Whether it’s merely hooking up and both parties know the score or it’s a committed, long-term relationship, lately, all I’ve been hearing is, “Guys will hurt you.”
I don’t mean for this post to sound all man-hating and guy-bashing. I have no problem with men. Some of my friends are in relationships with some really amazing guys. I’ll admit that spending too much time around women can make you crazy sometimes. And over the years, I’ve had some great male friends, but sadly, we’ve grown apart.
What I’m trying to say is that hearing all these stories from my girlfriends makes me sad for the male species if that’s all that’s out there. I believe everyone has the potential to be a great person (male and female) and it sucks when people don’t live up to it, which is what it feels like I’m hearing.
I’ve been feeling like this for awhile and this post has been kicking around in my head for a few weeks, but procrastinator (AKA journalist) that I am, I’ve been putting it off, repeatedly. But I’m glad I did because today, my sister sent me this.
After reading this, my faith in men — which had never left, but had just slightly wavered — was restored. I don’t mean to say I celebrated reading about his broken relationships. It was just nice to see that heartbreak is a two-way street and men can get affected by a breakup just as much as women.
It was nice to see we’re not alone and that our feelings can be returned.